My Grand Illusions

Of Course I Said Yes!

With the help of the prompt Postal Service delivery and the magic of FaceTime Duvain proposed to me yesterday morning. I was half asleep and looking awful but it didn't matter because this man made my day, my LIFE even. We couldn't be happier and we're looking forward to making plans to live an adventurous life together. TOGETHER!  

He was going to wait until he was here in May to propose but he said "Why wait when I'd made up my mind that it's what I wanted to do". He took a chance and mailed my beautiful ring to me not knowing when it would arrive, if it even would arrive at all, what day or time or condition it would arrive...it was a symbol of our relationship, never really knowing what the outcome will be. We cross our fingers and hope it all works out and in nearly 2 1/2 years it always has.

After opening several "decoy" presents including a silly Scrabble tile ring I had NO IDEA I was opening a ring box with THE RING. I sort of clammed up and became speechless...

Then I promptly fell over in my bed. Those are my pink PJ bottoms! Duvain was laughing like crazy!

After I got my wits about me I just didn't know what on earth to say or do. (You can see the Scrabble tile ring I'd slipped on my finger just moments before I opened my engagement ring.) I was tearing up and at a total loss. I said to Duvain "You're going to have to say something! I don't know what to say!"

I put my new beautiful ring on as Duvain told me the story of the ring and the ringbox. It was given to him by his mother just for me and it belonged to her Grandmother and that's when I lost it. That box means just as much to me as the ring itself.

We both said YES!! to each other and I clapped and hollered as loud as I could! I nearly screamed out my front door that I was marrying the best man I knew.

This guy! He's MY person I've been working my way to for 34 years. I'm such a lucky lady, really I am. We're going to have the BEST time, I just know it.

I love and adore you Duvain, I couldn't be happier, not in a million years. Thank you for taking me on as your project...we're going to be the best team ever. Team D1 and D2!

I get why people marry and fall in love. It took me a while to get there but it makes total sense now. We have the outcome I've been hoping for and we have SO MUCH to look forward to. I finally found MY person and I simply can't wait to create a beautiful life together.

Happy Valentines Day

Duvain suggested that we have a FaceTime date yesterday for Valentines Day which I thought was so romantic. We both made food (I made lunch and he made his dinner) and we both had candles to light. Promptly at 12:30 pm he FaceTimed me and then it all fell apart and quickly. The funny thing about FaceTime is it's only cool if it works properly. I'm guessing the weather in Wales was rough last night so the connection was bad and we got maybe 15 seconds of having a clear connection. Between the freezing frames, his candle not staying lit because he was outside in the wind and not being able to really talk because there was a terrible lag our romantic "date" didn't happen. I came so close to crying my eyes out* because it was such a sweet gesture and a great idea for us to do something together and it sucked that it didn't work out.

Next year, perhaps?

I decided to leave work a little early yesterday because I was feeling a little low and also because I decided to take my boys out for dinner to celebrate them being my valentines day dates. It was a really nice evening with them that I think all three of us needed, especially with all the working I've been doing. We went to Five Guys which worked well for our little vegan/vegetarian/meat-eater family of three. We chowed down on veggies burgers, grilled cheese, double meat burgers and a boatload of french fries.

Have you been to Five Guys? If not they have a container of shelled peanuts right by where you order your food so you can scoop up some peanuts and snack on them while you're waiting. Jackson was excited to eat some peanuts and I guess in his 5 years of life no one ever taught him to eat shelled peanuts because he picked up a shelled peanut and took a big bite and looked so confused about it. Derick and I laughed and laughed at the poor kid and I finally decided I'd teach him to shell a peanut. It's funny to me to teach my kids something that I've known for years. I forget sometimes that they weren't born knowing all the little things I take for granted.

After dinner I took my valentines to get small gifts at Walmart. (I prefer Target but Walmart was closer and I was too lazy to drive all the way to Target.) Jackson got a dinosaur toy and Derick discovered the $5 movies so he picked up The Neverending Storyand some horror movie and decided to keep the leftover $5. For some silly reason I ended up buying myself Rocky 1-4 for a total of $10. I blame it on Duvain for making me watch a Rocky documentary when he was here. I was feeling nostalgic!

We ended our really nice evening with a stop to get some frozen yogurt. Even thought it snowed two days ago the weather yesterday was great for from FroYo.

Jackson basically put all the choices he could find in his cup.

It was generally a really nice day and other than the glitch with FaceTime I enjoyed this valentines day.

I hope you and yours have a lovely, wonderful day. Happy belated V-Day!

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*What is with this crying thing? I'm not a girl that cries until recently over the last year or two. Is this what happens when you get older? I nearly cry at happy things, sad things, confusing things, funny things. ALL THE THINGS I CRY OVER. What is this all about?

Dear Mom and Dad

Dear Mom and Dad,

The last week in particular has been stressful, scary, sad, depressing, infuriating and a tangled mess of emotions. Derick's not doing well and keeps making these choices that makes me fear for his future as a productive member of society. He can't see it even though it's right in front of his face. He can't see that he's making decisions that, day by day, are determining his fate as an adult. Isn't that the way? Kids can't see the future so they make choices that only impact that very minute or that very day. Next week? Next year? In ten years? Nope, there's a very large screen in place that keeps kids in the dark, at least some (many?) of them.

I was a kid like that. Making all these stupid, ridiculous choices that changed the course of my life forever. Oh man, you guys, I'm sorry I put you through all that. If you're even half as anxiety ridden as I am then holy god I feel terrible for being such a selfish kid with no regard that all you guys ever really wanted for me was to be happy and healthy and to succeed in life. It's such a simple thing and I couldn't grasp it. Derick can't seem to either.

When you're a teenager you really just can't see the ramifications of your actions and when you do catch a glimpse of them you push them aside because who really cares, it's YOUR life and YOUR problems, not your parents, right? WRONG. A thousand times wrong.

I'm sorry for calling you names and screaming things I wouldn't scream to my worst enemy. I'm sorry I ran away and scared you half to death. I'm sorry I did all those terrible, selfish things. Neither of you deserved it, not one single time and oh boy do I feel terrible about it all.

I bet you guys know this, because parents really are smarteven though I didn't think so then, but I felt so safe and secure that I had your unconditional love that it felt like no matter how awful I was to you both I ALWAYS knew you'd have my back and be there if I really needed you. And you were! ALWAYS! It's amazing that you didn't give up me. Actually, it's not amazing. It's exactly what I knew you'd always do. You aren't the kind of parents that gave up on us kids even when we surely didn't deserve an ounce of compassion.

I'm so fortunate that I had/have you as my parents, really I am. I know that I can make it through this really rough patch with Derick and I know that we'll be ok because I have such a great example to follow.

So, thank you and I'm sorry. I couldn't have asked for a better set of parents, not in my wildest dreams. Thank you for being there for me always and forever. If I had a medal or a zillion dollars or the greatest gift I could find I'd give it to you both.

You deserve it 1000%

Love,

Kristie (your favorite daughter, HAHA)

(Look at them all dolled up for a ballroom dancing competition!)

Happy Birthday Bobee*!!

Today my sweet boy, my youngest son, turns 5 years old. FIVE YEARS OLD HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?

(He took a self portrait with my iPhone, smart kid!)

Yesterday I took him to pick out his birthday cake for his class party at school and he had the best time looking at all the photos trying to pick the best one. "Scobby Doo! That's the one I want! Oh wait! Transformers! That's the cake I want! Pokemon! Yes, I'll take that one!" After picking several different cakes he finally settled on a really cool looking dinosaur cake with a fake volcano. As soon as I flipped the page to the dinosaur cake he was sold. "A DINOSAUR CAKE! I want a dinosaur cake please!" I flipped through more pages to see if he'd change his mind and he got very excited about the Spider Man but then promptly said "I still want the dinosaur cake, I'm just looking". Dinosaurs have been a constant in Jackson's short little 5 years. He loves them so much and I got a little excited when I found the coolest dinosaur I'd ever seen to give him.

(At the Dallas Zoo where he was a little afraid of the birds flying around.)

Jackson also loves dragons, especially the Welsh Dragon, Lightning McQueen, his "baby computer", stickers of all kinds and he's really into Scooby Doo also. He's never met a Hot Wheel he didn't like and has them all neatly lined up on his window in his room. He likes all the typical things that boys his age like but it's so cool to see my kid play with those toys.

(Clean and ready for bed in his footy jammies.)

Sometimes Jackson will let out a gerat big sigh and say "I love you, mommy" which just melts my heart as you can imagine it would. He loves to "decorate" his bed with all sorts of blankets, pillows and stuffed animals. Showing of his decorating skills is quite exciting to him. He's my little adventurer and told me last weekend that he wanted to "see the whole world" and I told him I hoped he could see it all. He loves hiking with me and helping me cook while wearing his special apron and standing on his step stool. Going to the movies and chowing down on popcorn is the best to him and he looks forward to "stay at home days" so we can hang out.

(Exploring near our home.) 

He's just such a great kid and I can't believe that I got him as mine. How lucky am I?! I look forward to watching him grow more and more and learn and explore everyday. It's a joy having Jackson as my kid and I couldn't ask for any more.

Happy birthday Jackson! I love you my sweet Bobee!

(Checking out the water by our home. We threw rocks and sticks in the water!)

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Bobee is a nickname that Jackson has had for as long as I can remember. It started as baby boy and morphed it's way into Bobee (rhymes with adobe). I even has his nickname tattooed on the inside of my left wrist. Who knows how long he'll let us call him that but I intend on calling Bobee for as long as possible.

My 3rd Half Marathon: FINISHER

5:40 AM came SO EARLY to get up and run the 3M Half Marathon. After the Las Vegas Half I was just burnt out on running and I was not looking forward to running 13.1 miles at all. I'm pretty sure if I would agreed to it Jennie would have sat at Starbucks with me sipping iced coffees and passing the morning away with little to no physical movement. I would have definitely done that except for the annoying fact that I paid for this race. (I know, I pay to run around like an insane person.)

So, back to 5:40 AM. The fantastic (and lovely and wonderful) Natalie warmed her car up and drove Jennie and I to our starting point where we met up with Jenand her husband Adam. It was dark and cold and I was so not feeling it. When people started moving toward the start line I made a mental note to push all those negative thoughts out of my head and just put one foot in front of the other. When you run any distance, be it 1 mile or 13 miles you really just have to concentrate on your feet and make sure they keep on moving. I started running with barely a days training in the last month and a half and I hoped for the best.

This race is supposed to be a mostly downhill race and it definitely had it's down hills but this elevation map absolutely cannot be right. As Jen said about the downhills touted in this race: LIES AND FALSEHOODS. Oh yes, they were big fat lies. It was  a relatively flat course but there were some inclines that I was definitely not expecting. Whoever made that elevation map needs to go back to school or something.

About mile 2 or so Jennie and I separated which I think gave us both the freedom to do our best at our own pace and I really appreciated that. I ended up walking more this half marathon than I have during the other 2 halves I've participated in. I had just gotten off a 65 hour workweek with little training and I was just tired and over it in so many ways. I felt really pretty good despite the tired and the sun that was glaring right in my eyes and I ran probably 80-85% of the race.

The best part of the whole race was having Duvain and my mom cheer me on while I ran. I always run with my iPhone for a few reasons. One reason is to listen to music and the other reason is to get those motivational texts and messages from my cheerleaders. It's probably really odd but it's so nice sending Duvain messages during the race and having him send me motivational messages right back. He and two of his little nephews recorded several messages and sent to me so I could listen to them cheering me on through my headphones. It was a lively little boost that I needed, especially toward the end.

When I saw that mile 9 and then 10 and then 11 and then 12 and then finally the mile 13 sign I knew I was kicking some serious ass. I was nearing the finish and I didn't really care much if I beat my previous PR, I just really wanted to finish and finish I did. When the results were published I was SHOCKED to see that I had, in fact, beat my PR! I finished the 3M Half in 2:44:44 which is exactly 2:10 less than my PR. It BLOWS MY MIND that I walked so much and beat my time. There's something to be said for conserving a little energy here and there so you can power through the running. I've seen the light and I may never run an entire race again.

After the race Jess picked me and Jennie up around the finish line and drove us to eat a hearty lunch at 24 Diner. It was delicious and exactly what I needed after expending so much energy. (Thank you Jess, you're one of the best Internet friends I've ever made!) Naps and snacks followed and then we headed home, not much more than 24 hours after we arrived. It was such a whirlwind trip!

I've got a shiny new medal, a new PR under my belt and some sore-ass legs. I'm glad it's over and glad I did it.

Half Marathons

I don't think I ever really wrote about the first half marathon I did in early2011. I know for a fact that I never wrote about the second half I did in December 2011. So, here I am writing about the half marathon I'm doing TOMORROW. (Please note, I am insane.)

My first half marathon I trained alone and with little time to prepare. I decided, with less than a month to go, to register and make that half my you-know-what. I was so nervous lining up with Natalie the morning of the race. I'd done as much as I felt like I could have done in that short amount of time and I ran my hear out. I ran all but perhaps 1/4 of a mile and it was tough. There were some big hills I hadn't trained for and I didn't realize there would be no food on the course and I ran out around mile 9. I was starving, tired and just beat down. When I crossed the finish line I cried and cried because HOLY SHIT I had just ran 13.1 miles and FINISHED. I was so proud of myself and Natalie. For nearly a year I kept my finisher's medal hanging in my office and talked to anyone about my race that asked. Finishing time was 2:47 and some change.

Running that half was a big life accomplishment, one I never, ever thought I'd accomplish. I used to say I'd never run unless someone was chasing me with a sharp object. HAHA. How things have changed.

My second half marathon was in many ways different. I wasn't nearly as nervous because I'd done it before, the route was completely flat and I'd trained hard and for nearly 6 months with Jennie. We flew to Las Vegas for this half and although I was nervous about the higher elevation (2,000 feet more) it was really no big deal. I felt really, really good through the entire half, I know I could have kept running after we finished and been ok. I had a small occasion where my toes were feeling so painful but it only lasted a mile or two. I walked more this half marathon than the last and I was really OK with it, in fact I think it helped mentally and physically and I only finished 2 minutes later than my last time. I won't go into much detail about the disaster that was after the race was over but I can say with confidence that I won't run another Rock N Roll race again unless I'm assured there won't be issues like people passing out from the being stuck in the corral to leave the race. I enjoyed this half very much and I think if all races were like that I'd run them all the time.

As for this half tomorrow OMG, well, I've trained, uh not at all. I walked on the treadmill a few times and I did interval training twice last week and that's it. This course is mostly downhill which should make me feel OK about it but I've heard that downhill can be harder than uphill and I'm a wee nervous about my knees. I don't have knee problems but occasionally my knees bother me when going downhill, especially after I climbed Ben Nevis*. But in all honesty I just want to finish strong and within the 4 hour time frame. I've got nothing to prove to anyone but myself so if it takes me 3:30 then I'm OK with that. I'm just so darn proud that my little stubby legs and my former smoker's lungs can take me 13.1 miles that I've got so much to celebrate.

Here's to running (and walking) strong tomorrow and finishing strong!

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*Ben Nevis. Climbing this mountain was THE HARDEST PHYSICAL THING I'VE EVER DONE IN MY LIFE. I'll blog about it soon, promise. I'll tell you all about how I wanted to cry at the end, how I fell twice and how I almost let that mountain beat me. In the meantime, here's a few pictures.

Having a teenager is a challenge of epic proportions

Derick's never been the best in school and he really doesn't like going. He's much like I was when I was a kid. The difference is that he's been tested and it's shown that he's super smart and has the capacity to do excellent in school if he wants to. The 'if he wants to' part is the key. He's definitely capable, no question.

I sent him to live with his dad a few years ago because he was struggling in school and I thought a change of scenery, schools and parents might do him a world of good. Whew boy, was I ever wrong. He moved back home with me this summer and he should have been entering his junior year in high school but because he's so far behind he's still taking freshman and sophomore classes. Some classes he's taking for a 3rd time.

Alright, I thought, we can fix this. Derick was accepted into an accelerated high school that would help him catch up and get back on track and I was so excited for his opportunity. All he had to do was pass his classes for one semester and he'd be ushered right in. He failed 5 of the 7 classes that semester and I never heard from the accelerated school again. You have to be accepted to this school and they don't want kids who don't want to be there. My excitement was squashed.

Derick has had all his privileges taken from him for a while and he said that if he only had all of his privileges he'd work hard to keep them. I call bullshit but OK, let's try it out. Now? He's trying to tell me that a 67 is passing (it's not) and doesn't understand why I'd need to talk to someone about his grades when he swears he's passing. I'm not a dummy and it was quite easy to ask the school counselor if 67 was passing.

Two weeks ago I was alerted to the fact that he was skipping his 4th period class to go to lunch for a second time each day. His excuse was that he was passing that particular class and he was afraid if he kept going he'd screw it up and fail. WTF. What a lame excuse, kid. He'd skipped 9 times that I know of. I was obviously so upset and he said he wouldn't do it again. But. I got a call yesterday saying he's not gone to his 4th period class still. He's been skipping again and now the school is considering calling in a police officer to talk to Derick about the reality that if he's considered truent that he faces juvenile jail time, community service or a fine (that I get to pay). When I talked to the school yesterday I encouraged this meeting. I love this kid more than anything and I think NOT getting into his head how serious these choices are would be the worst thing I could do. He's got to understand the consequences of these choices.

It's hard being a parent, the hardest job in the universe. Why do people chooseto do it? Because at the end of the day Derick is a smart, funny, sweet kid and I adore him most of the time. He's witty and has a silly laugh and knows more about music than I ever did. He calls me mommy sometimes and thanks me on Facebook for bringing him Taco Bell. He's a good kid who is making bad choices and I choose to kick him in the ass until he realizes he's better than this.

Derick, if you ever read this, know that I love you and that's why I yell at you and that's why I want you to get it together and be a productive member of society. I'll do almost anything to help you succeed I just can't do anything until you're ready first.

Challenges

I'm back at work full time+ these days, tax season is here in full force. It's a double edge sword because my savings account needs to be replenished for all the future travel plans I have but so many things suffer like quality time with my family and friends, clean laundry and exercise and eating well. While it's mildly slow here at my office I'm making plans to eat well this tax season and I hope to lose a few (or 20) pounds along the way. I've been bringing all the things to make a great salad so I get my greens in, snacky things like 100 calorie popcorn to thwart cravings that would normally have me eat giants sums of chips and I've been munching on apples dipped in chocolate almond butter to quell that sweet tooth that rages on every single day.

The challange is to KEEP IT UP. I must start planning the night before for breakfast otherwise I'll end up pouring a huge bowl of cereal for myself or totally forget to grab anything and eat donuts from the corner bakery. I mean, don't get me wrong, donuts are lovelyto eat and eat and eat but my butt doesn't approve. I've learned that I need high-ish protein breakfasts that consist of both protein and carbs to keep me going. Two of the recipes I'll be making that have given me great success in the past:

Dough Boy Smoothie (From Kath Eats. This smoothie is so good especially when topped with a little bit of coconut butter and chopped nuts.)

Oatmeal Pumpkin Bake(From The Edible Perspective. I sometimes sub pumpkin for applesauce or mix up the other ingredients for something new. If I half this bake and top with peanut butter and jelly it's a delicious breakfast meal for around 300 calories which is perfect for me. Then the next day I eat the other half!)

I keep Hail Merry raw vanilla maple almonds on hand at all times and a stash of oranges, apples and bananas also. Another secret weapon? Those small one-serving Justin's Nut Butter you can find at almost all nicer grocery stores...genius.

I've got my plan in place, oh yes I sure do. I just need to keep it there and keep working toward eating well and feeding my body what it needs on a regular basis.

I'm on the lookout for really tasty salads (grain or vegetable based), simple one dish meals and foods I can prepare some at work where I'm limited to a can opener and a microwave. If you've got suggestions or blogs you recommend I'd love to hear about them.

Now, I'm off to make a delicious and hopefully simple dinner while I count down to quitting time (9pm!).

Anyone there?

Uh. So. I haven't posted here since AUGUST of LAST YEAR. This is shame full, isn't it?

I'll be brutally honest. I never finished my road trip posts because Duvain and I were not in the best of places and we actually stopped speaking for a short time in September, 2 days before my birthday. I just couldn't bring myself to write another word about anything because I needed time to process it all in my own mind before I spewed it all over the Internet. Nearly half a year has passed since I last posted anything here and how things have changed. Since August I've gone to Wales again for 3.5 weeks and Duvain just left 3 days ago after being here for 5 weeks. We're seriously talking about him moving here (fingers crossed!) and we talk about plans to accomplish that everyday almost. I'm exceptionally happy and in love and everything seems to be falling into place. It's true that you don't know what you've got till it's gone, I think he and I both figured that one out fast. So we're on a similar path together and trying to make it all work one day at a time.

Other things since my last posting?

I turned 34 and let me say that my 30's are WAY better than my 20's ever were. BRING ON THE DIRTY 30'S! Jennie, her momma and I went to Santa Fe for a long weekend and it was perfect in every way. I recommend going to Santa Fe, definitely.

I ran another half marathon (in Vegas) and didn't die. YAY! My time was a few minutes slower but I felt infinitely better this time than I did during that first half. I'm running yet another half in a week and let's just say that I've run about 2 feet in preparation so I imagine I'll be crawling most of that race.

Since August I've gained weight despite running a jillion miles to train for the Vegas half. This is SO RUDE and FRUSTRATING, especially after working so hard! I started eating better just yesterday and am determined to get my shit together. I have my favorite designer jeans hanging in my bathroom where I can see them every single day. My food today has consisted of 90% spinach so it would seem I'm off to a good start. Let's hope I don't turn a shade of green.

My boys are still my boys except when they act like heathens (ha!). Derick is doing terrible in high school and I'm waiting for him to have hi AH HA moment and realize he's only hurting himself. He's just like his mother. Jackson is mere weeks from being 5 and he's SO EXCITED he might actually burst into flames from the excitement. I love those kids even when they make me crazy.

As for the future? Duvain left half his clothes and shoes here because he'll be back in a few months and I sent him with tons of my clothes and shoes so I can come visit him over the summer. We might be chatting about really long term commitments (if you get my drift) and I couldn't be more excited.

Life is pretty grand on the whole and I couldn't ask for much more. How are YOU? I hope you're life is happy and healthy and full of adventures.

6,843 miles; Yellowstone

(The first part of our EPIC road trip can be read here.)

The day we drove to Yellowstone I was really excited and giddy. When we planned this road trip one of the first places we planned on going was Yellowstone. I think Yellowstone National Park is a symbol of America and the great outdoors for so many people. It's the world's first national park and it's been around since 1872. It just had to be a great place to go, we thought. Duvain and I had planned on spending 3-4 days in the park and I mean to tell you we just couldn't wait to get there.

I'll never forget the feeling when we pulled up the ranger station to pay our fee and the ranger was so pleased that we were there at her park that she loved so much. I got teary-eyed thinking I'd made it finally to Yellowstone! Our adventures were going to be epic and I'd want to bring my kids here, camp for weeks at a time and maybe never, ever leave!

 
 

We were surrounded by tons of gorgeous trees, snow-capped mountains and the Bison were in no short supply. We ended up seeing a frolicking grizzly bear the first day we were there and it was SO COOL. Little dude was running and playing and I just wanted to take him home for a pet until I remembered that grizzlies will rip your face off. Fortunetly the grizzly bear was across a stream and up a hill so I felt comfortable walking to get a better view since I couldn't name him Ralph and have him sleep at the foot of my bed.

On our first night camping we built a ranging fire, roasted (vegan) marshmallows and encountered a black bear while out on a walk not 1/4 mile from our tent. Having just put our tent up we decided to walk the very short walk to the local diner/gift shop to see what they had to offer. The sun had set so we brought two small flashlights and our cell phones. We'd been very cautious about bringing bear spray up to this point so it was a little scary to see this bear and have no protection with us. I stayed to keep an eye on the bear while Duvain ran to alert a few campers around the corner from where we'd just walked. Here's where I admit we are clearly STUPID.  Six grown men (5 of which were drinking beer in their pajamas) and I followed the bear down the road taking photos and chatting about how insane it was that he was just eating and walking along as if we didn't exist. After the 5 guys left, Duvain and I continued to follow the bear till he was out of sight. We each turned our music on our phones on full blast because everyone knows that blaring Rihanna will be sufficient protection. It was clearly insane but how cool that we saw a bear within 30 yards and follow it till he ambled into the woods.

It REALLY IS bear country. They aren't joking about that.

 
 
(That was our orange tent right by the sign. OMG)

I'll never forget this lovely older English fellow I met while washing up the night's dinner dishes by the water spigot away from all the campers. We chatted about how his travelling group had just come from Canada (where we were going in the next few days). I was telling him the rest of our travel plans and that we intended on doing them all in about 2 weeks and he looked at me like I was crazy. Said we'd never make it to see everything in that amount of time. Well, old chap, I hope you know we did, in fact, see what we wanted to see and made it home in time.

We ended up only camping one more night in the park. I think leaving early helped us to finish our road trip on time. Here's the thing about Yellowstone that made us leave in two days instead of three or four. It's so very, very commercialized. Every gift shop has the same t-shirts, key chains & shot glasses. Every wild animal you see is surrounded by a thousand tourists taking photos of it. Old Faithful was so packed with people that it became almost like a freak show that happened approximately every 2 hours. I didn't ever really get that feeling of being surrounded by a wild nature park. Don't get me wrong I'd definitely go back to Yellowstone if I was in the area but I wouldn't drive hundreds of miles out of my way again. Both Duvain and I left with a feeling of being let down and it really was a total bummer.

However!

If you do go to Yellowstone there are a few things I recommend. Please, please go see the Grand Canyon. Walk the crazy path that takes you straight down to the base of the waterfall and just watch the awesome power of the water coming down. It was breath-taking. The Grand Canyon was THE highlight of Yellowstone for me and also for Duvain. I was shocked as how few people there were who walked down the path to see it. Perhaps that's what made me love it so much, I didn't have to share it with a thousand other people.

 
 
The other highlight for me at Yellowstone was the Yellowstone Lake. It was still quite cold there in June so the water was frozen in many places and it just looked so beautiful and serene. If I could go again I'd kayak or canoe all around the lake. I wanted to build a little log cabin right by the lake and spend my days watching the beautiful water change in each season.

 
(As with all these photos I'm posting this is another iPhone photo. I mean, come on, how astonishing is this lake?)

One of the most awesome moments and also the scariest for me was the second night we camped. Shortly after we went to bed we heard wolves howling VEEEEERY loudly and I swear they sounded like they were headed right for us. Also I just know I heard some creature rustling around outside our campsite. There's nothing worse than having to pee in the middle of the night when it's freezing cold and dark outside and you think a man-eating animal is just lurking in the dark waiting to eat you up. I'd be so curious to know how many times on this entire trip that a bear or wolf was within stone-trowing distance from our tent and we had no idea. I bet It's way more than I think. *shudder*

If I could do Yellowstone over again I'd definitely go hiking (with my bear spray!). Our plan this whole trip was to climb mountains and do lots of walks but we just ended up cramming in so many stops that we didn't have a chance to really walk for long. Also, I'd really love to get a tear drop camper like this:

 
I'd go backwoods camping if we had something like this. It's the tiniest little camper but it's got a bed, eating area, kitchen and bathroom! WANT, BAD!

I feel like I'm sort of trash-talking Yellowstone and I suppose I am in a way. It wasn't what I expected and I'm bummed about it. I wanted a more solitary, at-one-with-nature moment. Someday I'll go back and try it again, perhaps with a backwoods camping permit, sturdy hiking shoes and a better idea of the places in Yellowstone I'd like spend more time in.

We drove out of Yellowstone 2 days later not really knowing how to feel about it all. It's still difficult to put into words. 

What we didn't realize was how much Canada was going to blow our socks off in the coming days...